And in doing this work, I began a meditation practice around it and discovered that if I viewed money as breath that somehow it made more sense. That there is an inhale and an exhale to money. That money must go out in order for money to come in. And the money must come in in order for money to go back out. Like breathing. We can't ONLY inhale. Neither can we ONLY exhale. We will die. The cycle requires the flow of breath - the Inhale and the Exhale. Wow. I thought I had really hit something. It felt like I had found the gold in the earth...that I had chiseled into the mountainside and found the nugget of truth and hope - the nugget that would bring me the money. I stood there like the character in Jerry McGuire and screamed, "SHOW ME THE MONEY!"
It didn't take me very long before I began to widen this concept from money to the simple definition and act of receiving. Was I comfortable receiving? Or was I more comfortable giving? It only took one round of heart chakra work to enlighten me and bring the shocking truth (at least shocking to me) to my doorstep. I was NOT comfortable receiving. Even saying "I am safe to give and receive love" stopped me in my tracks. I literally gasped for air each and every time I came to the word receive in that sentence. Surely that personal revelation was felt on the richter scale. Tell me that somebody at some earthquake reading site - felt the 10 on the scale and the seismic shift inside me.
And that was when my real work began. Turns out I REALLY like to give. I like to give of my heart, my time, my physical effort, my money, my words, my presence, my material possessions, my very being. And I expect nothing in return. Not only do I not expect it: I can't receive it. I feel gross receiving it. I feel gross receiving a compliment, a payment from a client, a hug, a thank you, a present, a kiss, a warm embrace of compassion. And once I saw that it was so present in my life - the revelations began to unfold as quickly as my heart and mind could keep up.
As this idea really began to permeate my soul - I recognized that my breath was a perfect example of the way I lived. I BREATHED AS I LIVED. And I began to wonder - how many of us do this exact thing? And what does our way of breathing tell us about ourselves and our openness in this world? In yoga, we talk about breath constantly. It is integral to the practice of yoga. Our movements are tied to our breath. We are cued. We are reminded. We are trained to pay attention to our breath. And it was in yoga class one Monday afternoon that it hit me: I don't even spend as much time inhaling breath as I do exhaling it. My body is literally uncomfortable if I spend 5-7 counts inhaling; and yet, I can exhale for 7-9 seconds very easily and comfortably. I have no problem giving my air to the world. But my body reacts to the physiological act of receiving breath. WOW. AGAIN. I was dumbfounded. And so excited. Suddenly this abstract principal became very clear and real. I could work on learning to inhale. I could do breath work and begin to get comfortable taking air in - receiving oxygen into my system. This one physical act could allow my heart and mind to understand that receiving is good - not bad. And every time I breathe - I am reminded that receiving is necessary; that it is fruitful. Receiving actually brings me life.
Pay attention to your breath. Do you feel comfortable inhaling and exhaling? Is one more comfortable for you over the other? Do you see this pattern in your life outside of your breath? Do you operate this way in more than one aspect? Our body constantly gives us away. I encourage to pay attention. We have so much to learn and share with one another. And I for one am excited to take in what others have learned.
Reblogged with permission from Off the Mat.